Not to be clumsy to face the truth.

Oh yes! 

It has been a long long struggle! 

Currently I am having such a hectic schedule to do. 

Move move move! 

Anyway, hi readers! How have you been?

Hopefully everything is alright, or at least okay. Lol. 

I wanted to introduce you to my new EPIC friends. I met them during my job as an assistant of the student life officer in my beloved university, UPH. They are such a great couple (not boy and girl), I mean couple of friendship. Haha. When I was talking with both of them, it was so funny. Lucky to have them. 

Let say one is the junior. He is very smart and nice. Not that talkative, but not that quiet either. I really envy his ability of self-control in any situation. Or maybe I just still cannot figure out what lies behind his face. Hopefully there is nothing so burdened. Apart from his quietness, he is such a lovable friend. He can make us happy with his silly joke. In fact, he will try to do anything when it comes to a down moment. Thank God to have him whom I assist.

Well, then we go to the second one, the senior. Pretty smart and unique! He is wise, yes he is. I know that when both of them are very nice to me. And this guy probably knows that I want to be very nice to them as well. He can figure out what lies behind my behavior. Not a magic. Or perhaps God has sent him to reveal the truth. No. Not all. But at least, he did that. He made me look very weird as what I truly am. Will we meet again? Or even though we will not, at least, remember what you have spoke out about me. 

_________________________***_________________________

"You want to be friend with them. They do not want to. They just consider you as someone freak. You try so hard to join them. They just mock you. They hurt you, but you do not want to hurt them back. You want to be with them. Buy you are just not part of them."

This is the saddest moment when I should say that I do not deserve to be loved. I have once taken a psychological test and it turns out that I go to the extreme point of being fearful. They said that being fearful means that I feel that I do not deserve to be loved by others and hence I avoid others. Am I so? Or am I just exaggerating myself too much? Let say yes, so that I do not have to make any adjustment to stay strong.

"You keep asking 'why' to yourself. You want a fairness. You are someone that realizes everything happens because of a reason. But then you do not know what is your own reason to become like this. I think I am missing something. Something that only yourself can figure it out. Do you know?"

 Oops, somebody just stopped by. She said sorry for borrowing my stuff for too long. I guess my roommate just said to her too much about what I did. I asked my roommate if she saw my stuff. Suddenly the borrower just came and felt so guilty because of it. Yes, girls stuff. Whatever. Nevermind.

"There is a lady that looks like your mom. She is the only one that you have ever confessed something to. Not sure. But she looks like a mom. Someone who is older and has the nature of motherhood. Is she your mom?"

 Me and my family are okay. Okay. Yes okay.

"You always have a goal to reach. You try your best to achieve everything. But. You do all those things not for yourself. Not for your own pride. But for whom? Do you have someone in mind?"

 I do not feel happy. I have never achieved something and felt happy after that. It might happen. But temporarily. Not an endless happiness. So pity.

_________________________***_________________________

Hope to see you again my two awesome friends.

Thank you for being there.

She.

Dear God,

She is people's listener.

She is no one's spouse. 

She is no one's friend. 

Some said she is perfect.

Some said she is bossy.

Some said she is selfish.

She was born to be a leader. 

She was born to be a burden.

She was born to be a disturber.

She is a very critical girl.

She is a very outspoken girl.

She is a very sensitive girl.

She smiles and laughs out loud.

She mumbles to herself. 

She muses in a crowded place.

She loves to be an observer.

She holds a grudge.

She remembers every single word you have said.

She leans on God.

She feels deeply sad. 

She cries in the heart.

She could not tell anyone.

She did not mean to hurt people.

She really wanted to be friend. 

She wanted to know people well.

She wanted to joke with them.

She wanted to care and to be cared.

She could tell anyone's feeling.

She lied to hide her potential.

She lied to remain silent. 

Will she survive?

I am SHE. 

She is me. 

Amen. 

Hello December!

Welcome to December! 

Some might say that it is time to get yourself out of burdens. Some others might say that it is time to solve your burdens. Yah, it depends on your own pespective. We all have problems that probably only us who know them. 

Today, I went to a place where you can find tons of stones there. I found some water stuck between two piles of stones and hence formed a puddle. 

In this month of holiday, the workers might say, "Just leave it there. We can work on it after holiday. Afterall, there is no one would see it during holiday." Or probably some other workers might say, "Let us clean it before holiday so that if suddenly our boss came, he would not find his field dirty."

Those are how different perspectives play a part in our lives. It is our choice to decide our direction. Hopefully all of us can spend our holiday with something useful. Happy holiday everyone! :) 

The end of the most memorable year.

Hi! Almost forgot that I still have a blog. Lol. 

I have been so busy these few months focusing on my first term. 

Yeah! Now I am having my one-month holiday! 

Unfortunately, I lost all my photos last night when I was trying to upload them to this blog. What an annoying iphone! -_- Anyway I have gotten a lot of friends here. They are all ridiculous and I was once thinking not to graduate too early so that I do not have to leave them too soon. Haha.

Source: Google Images

I met some Koreans here as well. Some of them are 20+ because of joining the conscription in Korea. At first, I thought they were all so serious as their ages. But yeah I am the one who is getting too serious with them. Lol. They are so kind. I will never get angry with them tho. Sometimes you might have to act such a fool because that's what we called friends; they play and laugh together.
To all my international friends, I would like to say thank you very much because you have cheered my life up. And the thing is every time you said to me, "I am just joking", actually I was also joking. So, do not take it too seriously that I was getting mad anyway. Haha. One more thing, the reason why I said to you that I hate "girls' stuff" is because I am not used to it anyway. Almost all my friends in my senior high school always said that I am really different. I do not get close to girls, such as hanging out with them frequently, because I just do not like it and I have ever told you about this at the very first time we met anyway. You will know a lot more about me when we have been friends for a long time, and at that time you are going to fool me more I guess. Hey, take it easy, I am not seriously getting angry with you. Or that question might pop up again, "Are you angry?" Lol. I thank God to have you all! :D

Source: Google Images

To all my A boys and girls. There are a lot of things that we have not done together yet. No, I am not telling you to do so tho. Even though we are such a super-serious class, we can still laugh together in class. Don't give a damn about what other classes said, guys! We are just what we are. At least, they recognize us as a GOOD class who is always studying all the time. Gonna miss you until we meet again next year! Have a wonderful holiday! :))

Source: Google Images

Have you ever lived together with some strangers?
It has never been that easy anyway. But what does not kill you, is what makes you stronger. At first, I tried not to care about her ignorance. Finally it ended up with me crying out loud in front of her. Don't ever try to hold them all by yourselves, dude. You are going to learn about what is called "ADAPTATION" - adjustment to your surroundings. I am not that strong girl as what my friends always called me in high school. I just realized that there are some things that I might not possess yet I have to face it no matter what. Thank you to all my roommates! You are so annoying, CRAZY, kind, and SUPER-awesome! To be honest, even though sometimes I do not like you, but I LOVE YOU because all of you have made me stronger! Please do not forget me as your roommate who can sometimes be so quiet and suddenly turn into a super ridiculous roommate. With love, your "GREEN-Y" roommate. <3

Source: Google Images

Readers, I am coming back again at my facebook. Some of my friends here are using facebook, so I think I have to come back to my old facebook again. Lol. You can message me or leave a comment on my wall if you want to. :)

I think that's all for today. Happy holiday everyone! See you at my another post! :))

If you have time, try to listen to this song. The first time I listened to this lovely song was in my Korean friend's car. And finally I got this song from my another Korean friend. This song is totally awesome!

Being a university student has never been that easy.

Hi fellas! I am back here. It has been so long since my latest post in here, hasn't it? I have been in Lippo Karawaci anyway, for about 3 weeks. And my study has started from 2 weeks ago. I know it has only been a couple of weeks. However, I always feel like getting through it has never been that easy.

1. Got to be in time, instead of on time. 

Struggling with schedule is one of my weakness. I have to reset all my prior schedule in my hometown. The bad news is that all my lectures start at 7.15 every weekdays. Sometimes I wake up at around 5, but sometimes I got late to 6. Thank God, I am still able to handle it so far so that I can still attend the class in time.

2. Different lesson, different language.

It might seem to be a general issue for those who took an international class. Coming to the class and getting home with nothing. In-fact, I have felt them all on my first week. I was a science student. And now I am taking a social class, Management. I don't even know what is the meaning of it on my first day. This is going to be my first time to borrow a few books from the library as my study's references and study until 2 or 3 in the morning. Furthermore, I need my iPad on every of my classes to get along with the language used in class. I am not telling such a bed-story anyway. 

3. You might be, but they are not. 

Getting along with new friends is the main part of socialization. You have to adapt with some kinds of new stuffs, figure out their emotional level, and manage to juggle social relation and my own business. The hardest part is to let them do what you dislike.

4. Homesick is a mainstream issue.

Being so far away from our family is quite difficult. I have got to maintain my own self to survive. Fortunately, I can still share my stories with my best friend here. We have known each other from junior high school actually. So lucky to have him in the same university again. 

Well readers, how's yours? Have you felt these common problems? Hopefully, you can handle them too. Have a nice day then! :)