A New Beginning

Reminders for a better life: 

1. You do not need a friend to stay alive

Friends are not related to you. They often betray you and leave you. Their definition of friendship is not pure, it conflicts with their personal needs. They will come to you when they need you, and they will leave you once their needs are fulfilled. By then, they will call it "We are just friends, this is enough." They take you only for granted, and they may accuse you of having feelings towards them if you want more reciprocity in the friendship. So remember, you only need to know them as a person (stranger) and keep it that way.

2. Breathe and forget the past

Stay alive. Even when life gives you a stone to eat, you do not need to eat it. Forget the past. Forgiving requires more than pure intention and action. There is no point in forgiving them anyway, they will not change to be a better version just because they are forgiven. So might as well, you start to forget and bury them deep down.

3. Trust none, but yourself

After learning that no one is actually a friend of yours, why do you need to trust anyone? Yourself is worth more. I did not believe in self-care before because I thought it was selfish and self-centric. Yet after several times being betrayed by pure kindness, I learnt that the world is cruel enough to let you down multiple times within years. No one is purely nice, remember that. You only need to play your act and then get things done.

4. Silence gives you more privileges

Being nosy around to help others does not exist anymore in this world. So just maintain the decorum quiet, at least, the decorum of your sight. Talk when it is necessary and asked. By then, learn to be more discipline and finish all your tasks well so that you do not need to talk to anyone.

5. Nothing lasts forever

Oh, even someone's marriage does not last forever. Not because the other one died or divorced, but simply because the pure marriage is tainted. Friendship also does not last forever.

Why would you start on something that will end up anyway?

The Unstoppable Tears

There it comes again

I am overwhelmed with all of this

No guidance, no direction

Only an ideal sweet candy that everyone also wants

I am exhausted, really.

What should I give him?

It was not the right question.

She hurts, deeply

 She wonders why people can live so freely.

Everything has changed. 
She left it all behind, but it all came back once the conversation started.
They both are connected by another relationship that cannot be denied.
For her, it left a mark and a loneliness. 

She spent her days, weeks, and months,
trying to fix what was broken, trying to stick all the pieces.
And whenever she felt like leaving to get into a new life,
it did not go as expected.

She wanted to take a break, and she is still wanting it.
Yet, the undeniable relationship keeps getting in between.
What is worse than a self-abuse. 

I want to escape.

From the deepest fear.

From the longest tear.

Are you okay?

I just wanted to tell you what happened.

That thing that haunted me these recent days, 

has been crazily echoing inside my head. 

I could not see it.

I could not talk to it.

When I fell into a deep sleep,

it became real. 

I ran, I ran, I ran further.

Now I got tired because of running.

That thing is still there, waiting to chase me again.