Called Twice-a-Day

She once said to me that I should not tell him everything

Yet, what should I do now, everything has been told

Him, whom I trusted to be someone that can listen and understand

It was a good time

Now, I do not think so.

The more I tell him, the more it becomes a boomerang

Depicted by how he asked to then judge

He knew about the stress and he asked why, expecting a solid answer

Then judged like it is a small thing that is easy to solve yet I am too weak to deal with it

Excuse me, what are you doing now?

Oh then, it was such a right time for him to judge for more

Thank you and I do regret it

Even when I am writing this, I cannot really lash out at him

I do not take this as an opportunity to revenge the anger

It is more to a reflection that this whole time the fact is revealed

The problem is telling a problem to the source of it

I learnt something now

I should not trust him from the beginning

A blunt expectation from a naïve person

Expecting a person that does not even realize that he makes it worse

Every day it becomes worse

Such a relief to finally put everything in writing

Someday he may read this and recall that

A girl does not demand for a pity or a judgement

Please differentiate the way to care about someone

With the way to judge someone

You cannot talk to them.

It is so exhausting.

You cannot talk to them because they will never understand your side.

Even if they stay silent, that does not mean that they understand.

Anxiety-go-Round

Everyday you wake up trying to fight it

with heart full of dread and burden.

You put a smile on to appreciate

each day of survival.

On the next day, you face it again the same way.

Until one day, you got tired of believing in yourself

that you can surpass it.

Last night you were dreaming about a piece of paper

scratched by a man, torn by a woman.

You have been carrying it around since you were 10,

wishing that you can collect more tomorrow.

Maybe your mind is insane, or merely people’s heartless thought.

Let us take a walk to the beautiful night street.

You see that?

The lights are smiling at you.

You hear that?

Your nightmare is haunting you.

It hurts.

It does.

Forever.

Oh hey, are you still there?

Cheer up to the day of sunshine.

You cannot have more light after this.

The heart is beating so fast.

Help you!

Can anybody help you?

A Long Trip

Everybody forced to get in because every second did count.

Yes. I was inside one of the public transports we got here.
Let us call it a commuter or most of the time, a bus.
Weekdays, 1.5 hours to the not-so-amazing building, 2 hours back to lovely home.

Airpods on, playlist repeated over and over again.
When I was not too sleepy, perhaps a classic game can help kill the time.

The best thing was to observe people.

The guy with a black shirt was sitting there with an office bag.
He was bored and switched on his phone scrolling on some feeds.
Oops, somebody came. An old woman with pink blouse and an old bag.
He stared at his left, oh no, another old woman. He then stood up and let her have the seat.

You know, there was a time when an old man was suddenly possessed inside the bus.
I was sitting in front of him. The operator asked everyone to move forward.
I was chilled, and not moving. The old man kept on screaming and, I did not understand him, he took off his shirt and socks. He was sweating and his eyes opened wide.

"Next stop..."

Okay, there you go. The operator forced him to get out from the bus because of the chaos he caused. Everyone helped the operator to persuade him to get out. Finally, a security from the bus halt came and carried him out. Hmm. Such a relief.

Anyway, I have to finish my task first. Shall talk about this long trip another time.
If you want to, you can have your own unique experience and share it here.

Happy observing!